Waiting

The bleeding had gotten worse and I was thankful that we finally could figure out what was wrong.

We made our way through the maze of parking ramps and hallways, to the floor where our doctor’s office was. Before we checked in, I told Matt I needed to use the bathroom. I shouldn’t have done that. As I went to the bathroom, I noticed that the blood clots were getting bigger. I tried not to cry as I finished up and went back to Matt. We checked in, were given a pager, and went to sit by the big windows in the waiting room. As we checked in, I read a sign that said “if we haven’t called you in 30 minutes, please come back up and check with us” or something to that effect. How horrible would it be, I thought, if we had to wait that long in this state. The waiting room was full of pregnant women, some with people to support them, others waiting alone. One couple had already had an appointment and were adoring their ultrasounds, smiling and talking quietly about the different features of their unborn child.

10 minutes passed.

A little boy was sitting over by the TV and was acting out. His dad, who was not very patient, was with him. The boy would act out and the dad would try to patiently tell him no. You could tell that if they weren’t in public, the boy would have been in very big trouble.

20 minutes passed.

A couple and their newborn baby walked into the waiting room. The baby looked younger than 2 months old but the mom looked like she was still pregnant. I tried to occupy my mind by analyzing whether her belly was still big from the pregnancy or if she was pregnant again.

The cramping worsened. I could feel the bleeding get heavier.

30 minutes passed.

“Something is very wrong,” I whispered to Matt. He held onto my hand tighter and tried to reassure me that everything would be okay. I couldn’t stand to look at people anymore so I stood up in front of my chair and faced the other way, out the window. It was a cloudy day out. The pain got worse.

40 minutes passed.

“I’m going back up to the check in desk,” I told Matt. I made my way past people and to the check in desk.

“Excuse me,” I told the nurse, “we’ve been waiting for over 30 minutes.”

“Tell me your name again,” she said. She then proceeded to look up my name and just as she said they were ready for us, the beeper in my hand went off.

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