Sometimes, I feel like this. She explains so very well.

Waiting for Baby Bird

Tabitha praying in church

I’m not going to cry…I’m not going to cry…I’m not going to cry.  And I didn’t.  Or at least not for the first five minutes after hearing she was pregnant.  Again.  And with her fourth.  But despite my best efforts to pull myself together, the tears poured out of me and the despicable ugly cry came.  You know the cry ladies.  It’s a recipe of alligator tears mixed with snot everywhere, while your face is beat red and you make horrible facial expressions all while trying to not hyperventilate.  Like I said, it’s ugly.

And I wasn’t prepared for it. 

Because most days, walking through infertility isn’t so hard for me anymore.  It was something I thought I had come to peace with and had faith to believe would change.  At least one day it would.  And I thought it was something that no longer made me jealous of…

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