On any given day I have the following thoughts:
1. I miss our baby.
2. I’m extremely thankful for my husband.
3. I wish this had never happened to us.
4. But God is sovereign.
5. And God is good.
As we enter into the middle of October, I can’t help but think about how at the end of this month, we would be getting ready to announce our pregnancy to the world. I would be starting my second trimester of pregnancy and we would be in “the safe zone” of pregnancy.
On Sunday, Matt surprised me with a trip to a pumpkin patch. I’ve never been to one before so I thought it was the coolest thing ever. What made it more amazing was that this was the pumpkin patch his parents took him to when he was a child.
As we picked out our pumpkins, I recalled how a pregnancy reveal idea I had was to take a photo of two big pumpkins and one tiny one. My heart was sad as I thought about that but overall, we had a great time there!
As the weeks progress, there hasn’t been a day yet when I don’t think about our baby. In His grace, God has allowed me to cry tears of joy when I
think of the fact that the first face our baby saw when he/she opened their eyes in Heaven was Jesus’, or that our baby is in the best place he/she could ever be – in the arms of our sovereign and good God.
And that is enough for those moments when I feel despair.