I’ve decided that I don’t like the month of September. Too much crap has happened this month for it to be an okay month anymore. We lost our baby, my boss’ stepmom passed away suddenly, my sister’s friend’s brother took his life… Too much loss this month, and that’s only within my six degrees of separation and within the past two weeks.
I’m over this month. I’m thankful October is starting soon.
Let me tell you, there are appropriate things to say to people who have experienced the loss of a child, and there are not very appropriate things. For example, “don’t be too sad; you had one, you’ll have more” is not appropriate. “You’re young, you’ll have more babies” is also not appropriate. (Yes, both things were said to me in an attempt to console me.)
First, if the Lord wills it, we will gladly have more children, but until then, you don’t know that that’s in His plan! You don’t. I know you’re trying to comfort me and be all philosophical or something to that effect, but good gravy, that is not the right thing to say so shut up. If at a loss of something to say, simply say “I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry.” And I won’t be offended. In fact, I’ll probably be happy you admitted that. And I’ll appreciate your condolences.
I guess this is the anger part of the grieving process. It’s only a tiny spurt and I’m thankful for that. I’m just frustrated so I apologize for my snarkiness. (I’ve had to wait to write this post because I knew my initial response wouldn’t be out of love. So I’ve simmered down a bit.)
I am looking forward to September ending and October starting. I’ll even (temporarily) welcome the cold with it.