Matt writing his column was a step of faith on our part. Once the decision was made, I did not regret it, though I was a bit apprehensive to receive others’ reactions. I knew our story needed to be shared. If not for my selfish reason of wanting others to know the ordeal we were going through so we wouldn’t have to carry it alone, it’s because it’s been startling to discover how many people we know have walked this journey we are currently walking, and we wanted them to know they were not alone; We, too, were experiencing their pain.
Ubuntu is a concept I’ve known of for the majority of my adult life. The concept originated from South Africa and translated it means “I am because we are.” In other words, we are all connected. We can’t be ourselves without community.
Never have I seen this concept come to life as I have since we posted the column. Below are a few comments we’ve received from friends and even strangers who have read our story. To be honest, it’s so comforting to know we’re not in this alone.
“A friend of mine has had 4 miscarriages. She and another friend have read this book that’s been very helpful to them…”
“My heart aches for your pain — and for both yours and Matt’s loss. Blessed you are to be ‘together’ in this – sharing your faith and strength with each other. There simply are no words. Thinking of you both.”
“Sera, I was so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. It is a difficult time, but as Matt said in his article you have the support of each other, family, and friends. I, too, have had a miscarriage and the incredible loss we felt was something you can’t express and wondering why God would give us such joy one moment and such sadness the next. We are praying you continue to receive the support you need at this time, but rejoice that little life is in God’s care! Love to you both.”
“I just read your hubby’s article. Though I’m sad to hear it, I’m thankful that you do have the support and prayer warriors around you that will clamor around you to carry you both at this time. I know already you are walking better. I pray that this only continues. God continue to bless!”
“I am so sorry for your loss, know that I’ve been praying for both of you. I want to assure you that it is not your fault. I’ve experienced this so many times in my life but now I’ve completed given it to the Lord because whether I have a child or not, I’m not less of a woman. I believe in my heart that it is in the hands of the Lord and I trust Him with all my being, so I will allow His will to be done in my life. I hope this has encouraged you. May the Lord wrap His love on you during this trying time.”
“I had no idea and I’m so sorry. I’ve been there. It does get better.”
“My heart breaks for you. Hugs and prayers. I understand.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss. I can imagine how much it hurts because my mom lost her baby, our little brother or sister. Take courage.”
“You don’t know me but we have a mutual friend. She shared the article that your husband wrote. I know your pain. My husband and I were married last summer and found out on our one year that we were expecting. I started having pain a month later; I was nine weeks. I had that ultrasound where you find out there is no heartbeat, I miscarried that night. It’s one of the most heartbreaking, defeating things we have gone through. I pray for your healing for both you and your husband. We have found strength with the help of God.”
“My darling. I lost a baby early on like you. It’s heart wrenching and a sorrow that no one can really quite explain. I am so so sorry you are dealing with it and I wish I could wrap my arms around you and cry with you.”
“So sorry to hear this! I was so excited to see the first portion of the story and then so sad as I read on. We too just experienced this in my family. My sister was 2 months pregnant. We were all there for the ultrasound when we saw the baby on the monitor. So excited, then realized there was no heartbeat. The room got quiet. We found out 2 weeks ago and last week she had the miscarriage. We’ll be thinking of you and praying for your family.”
“Our hearts are heavy for you guys. We too lost our first child, very early on. Our son is now 10 1/2 months old and has brought us incredible joy and blessing. But as you mention in the article there is still a tender scar from the loss (years ago now) that remains to this day.”
Rejoice with those who rejoice; Mourn with those who mourn.
– Romans 12.15