Just for today, I’m discontent. I’m discontent that I don’t have a job yet even though for the past three months all I’ve done is apply for jobs and go on interviews. It’s disheartening receiving rejection emails. You start to believe that you’re not good enough for many things even though I know I’m over-qualified for 85% of the jobs I’m applying for.
Just for today, I’m emotional. It might be PMS, it might not be. I don’t know what it is but it puts me on the verge of tears as I listen to songs or think about life or write this post. And being extra emotional when you’re already a somewhat emotional person is not a great thing. I feel bad for Matt when he gets home from work.
Just for today, I’m apathetic. I no longer care about this paper that I’m supposed to write. It doesn’t interest me and kind of annoys me that I have to complete it. If I lived closer to where my school is, I would have been able to take a four-week course in place of writing this 30+ page paper. It irks to see posts from other people in my program who are complaining and whining about having to attend this four-week course. What are they complaining about? They don’t have to write a paper. They have to read a section of a book, show up to the class, have a discussion, and then pass. Ridiculous.
Just for today, I wish I was elsewhere but here. Maybe on a tropical beach someplace where I can feel the sand in my toes and the ocean wind at night. I want to be there with Matt and not worry about applying for jobs or writing a paper or being emotional or apathetic.