Psalm 34.18

Once again, death has reared its ugly face in my life.

Last night, on Mother’s Day here in America, halfway across the world, the matriarch of the maternal side of my family – my great grandmother – passed away. I’m thankful Mother’s Day for Madagascar isn’t until later this month so my grandma didn’t lose her mom on a day meant to otherwise celebrate mothers with your mother.

My heart aches with the sort of pain that carries few but fond memories of laughter with my Bebe. I didn’t have the privilege of knowing her well because we didn’t grow up in Madagascar, but I remember that she was always giddy and laughing every time we spent time with her. I know my heart hurts more for my mom and her mom, my grandma, but my mom especially cause she’s not there to grieve with and support my grandma. I could tell it was difficult for her to tell me the news on the phone this morning without her voice breaking. 

The past few weeks I’ve had very strong heart cravings to return to visit Madagascar this year and they’ve only become stronger now. But I wouldn’t want to return by myself, I want my entire family to come as well, so much so that I’ve been secretly praying for it. I want to see members of my extended family again before I lose them also. But to be honest, that is an expensive trip for one person, let alone a family of eight, to make. But God provides, and if it’s in His plans for us to go, we will.

I’m currently listening to Malagasy Christian music on repeat. It’s the only way I know how to.. yeah. I’m also reading promises from the Bible and praying for my family in Madagascar as they make funeral preparations.

 

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The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

– Psalm 34.18

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