Currently..

I think a lot about the future, about my future. And I mean a lot.

My brain creates a flow chart: option A will lead me this way which will eventually get me to this location where I can do this thing. Off of this location are branches, one with “pros” and the other with “cons.” Option B can take place here but will have to involve that and move to this spot.

I wonder what this flow chart would look like written out. I would definitely need a large piece of paper for that.

I watched five episodes of Grey’s Anatomy today. One, two, three, four, five. Five! I am sort of ashamed to admit that but there it is. Today was one of those days where I should have packed and cleaned a lot more than I did. Instead, I turned on Netflix, sat on my couch with a blanket (even though it was 99 degrees outside) and watched one episode. Then another. Then three more. As I’m writing this, I’m itching to watch the next episode to find out what will happen between Arizona and Callie now that Arizona returned from Malawi (if you’re ahead of me in the episodes, shh, don’t tell me) but my eyes are too tired. This will be something I look forward to tomorrow.

If we’re going to be honest about this, I want to state that I watch the show because I am fascinated at what it’s like to be a doctor. I’ve considered following my father’s footsteps and becoming a doctor numerous times in my life so this sort of stuff grabs my attention. I was told that this reason however, is not a believable, legitimate reason for anyone to be watching this show. Ah, critics.

I play Tetris a lot, too. It’s addicting. My high score tonight was 13,500.

My apartment is full of boxes, only five of which I have accomplished to fill with my belongings. The rest sit off to the side, yearning to be filled and being a constant reminder of how I need to move faster in this process. There are two huge garbage bags full of clothing that I have decided to donate. After some convincing, I finally realized that I do not need 42 t-shirts. I am down to 17 t-shirts (I snuck three back into the keep pile) because having four grey t-shirts, three of which I do not wear, is not necessary and just plain selfish. So I am donating them.

All of the decorations are off of the living room and dining room walls. Picture frames are packed, books from college are neatly placed in a box, and I’m on my second garbage bag full of actual trash. I haven’t touched my bedroom yet though. I want to keep that as normal as possible until the very last moment.

That is coming way too soon.

A plan is set into motion and forward movement is definitely happening. Several things need to happen for this plan to be successful but I am confident that it will all work out. You know what though, if it doesn’t, it will be okay. I, ladies and gentlemen, am going with the flowwww.

 

“There is always a plan. Rejoice in the unknown as soon as you can.”

– A text I received on June 14, 2011

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