Sooner or Later.

I’ve been planning out what I could write to make this post extraordinary.

That thought and desire, however, have now dwindled. My head is saturated with many, many other more prominent thoughts and a check list of things I need to accomplish preferably by the end of today.

I might have mentioned this previously but if not, I don’t think there’s harm in repeating it. If anything it will help you get to know me better, right? I’m all about that.

Ready? Okay: when I hear a song that I like I play it over and over and over again until I get it out of my system. This could take hitting the replay button seven times or it could take 243 plays on my iTunes as I listen to the song for several nights through the night. Eventually I will have played it enough times that it either annoys me or those around me who have to listen to it. Then I ditch it and like a junkie, browse YouTube for my next fix.

The current song I’m hooked on (and have been hooked on on-and-off the past few months) is Sooner or Later by Mat Kearney. Why? The lyrics. I guess the melody aids but it’s the lyrics. (Random sidenote: I often desire to listen to this song while driving down my favorite street in this town at night. It’s a long street with a total of three lamp posts to the left and the typical Iowa field to the right. And the night sky.) — You are just winning at getting to know me right now!

I’m in a stage in my life where I’m  hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit. Yup. Okay, so it’s not that dramatic but at times that’s what I feel like. I want to say it’s due to many different things but it’s not; It’s due to one huge thing. This one huge thing, however, affects many different aspects of my life.

I call it a waiting game. A waiting game that has lasted for over a year.

A couple of days ago, on May 24th I was given the hope that in 15 days I would get a final answer, a decision that would end this waiting game. Then on June 5, three days shy of the end of the 15 days, somebody decided to say, “ha, ha, just kidding! You’re going to have to wait a little bit longer. Let’s say, hmm, another 15 days.” And so the waiting part of the game resumed. Awesome. Honestly, I want to be agitated and angry at whoever’s voice it was that came to my head when I saw that memo but what is that going to help? Anyway, we’re back to waiting.

Several times throughout the past year I’ve become frustrated and proclaimed that I want the game to end regardless of whether I win or lose. Not-so-secretly though, I admit it, I want to win. Everyone knows I want to win. Those on my side all want me to win also…

I don’t want to lose you and confuse myself in how one wins and loses in this particular case or which side has the better argument etc, so I’m going to stop with that and return to the song.

The lyrics to Sooner or Later are posted below. I want you to read the lyrics without the music first (remember this song wins for me because of the lyrics), then if you’re curious enough, go search it out on YouTube.

“We’re all standing with our backs against the wall
Sooner or later
Waiting on a phone that never calls, at all
Heartbreak comes rollin’ in like a storm
Sooner or later
Trying to swim but your sinking like a stone, alone

And I can feel fire in the night waiting here,
Baby its like we’re walking on a wire through the fear
Take my hand, we’ll get there

Sooner or later, I swear we’re gonna make it, we’re gonna make it
Milk and honey till we get our fill
I’ll keep chasing it I always will
Sooner or later, I swear we’ll make it there
Sooner than later

We’re all waiting on dream thats hard to own
Sooner or later
Trying to feel the high without the low, you know
You can feel fire in the night lying here
Baby its like we’re walking on a wire through the fear
Take my hand, we’ll get there

The fear inside,
The hills we’ve climbed,
The tears this side of heaven
All these dreams inside of me I swear were gonna get there

Sooner or later.”

I hope it’s sooner than later.

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